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[luke]

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Friends only... [Tuesday, March 01, 2005 // 4:41pm ]
[ mood | angry ]

I hate to feel the need to do this, but I must...



I'm making my journal friends only now. And now I owe an explanation. This I will freely give. When I write in my journal, I tell about my feelings, what is going on in my life, etc, etc...I am generally really careful about what I say, because I realize that some people may not be able to respect my space. But as of recent, I've realized that there are some people who are oblivious to my feelings, let alone their own. I really thought I could trust the general public enough to be mature about what I write. Yet, some people are stuck at age 5. I guess I could go into more details about why I am doing this, but there are those select few people who might be reading this that may consider that as an attack on them. For those select few, I have a message for you--Get a life...preferably, one that is not centered around making mine miserable. [You have already accomplished that.]

I mean really...everyone should know that I never attack people on here. Only, some people like to take my feelings and concerns out of context and blab about them to other people. Isn't that what middle school was about? Sadly, some people never truly grow up, I guess. What a shame.

If you are a friend, and would like to know the precise details concerning this matter, please ask me. I'd be free to vent. I feel as if my feelings have been violated...and I don't have to put up with that. Hence, I'm making this journal friends-only. (I am in the process now of changing all previous entries into friends-only mode.)

So if you are already on my friends list, this will not affect you. If you would like to be on my friends list, please comment and I will most likely add you. (Unless you are one of the above mentioned immature people.)

Sorry if this is coming across harsh...but yeah. I'm quite upset. Finally, I'm taking control of my feelings--I refuse to let people walk over me this time.
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What you never know won't say goodbye... [Sunday, December 12, 2004 // 1:11am ]
[ mood | content ]

I was just thinking that woah. I haven't updated this in forever. I guess I could blame it on the lack of time. And that would be true. I've been busier than a [insert noun known to be busy...my imagination is lacking right now]. In the past few weeks, I can't believe how much I managed to [barely] get done. Such as the research paper, two tests, poetry journal/essay thing, revised an essay, a ton of other stuff, more stuff, yeah. I can't remember it all, but it was a lot. And now, I just have to finish a 5-page essay, write a cover letter thing for the FLA portfolio, write a music theory journal thing, and take two finals. (It kind of makes me mad...I don't have any finals all this next week until Friday. So I have to be on campus with barely anything to do all week long...because both finals aren't finals that can be studied for much.) Oh yeah. And jury Monday. That's where I perform two of the three pieces I've worked on this semester for voice lessons. (In front of the music faculty...talk about nervousness.) But really, the bad stuff is basically over. I've been able to relax a little bit, and I should be able to get some rest this upcoming week. Then I get to go home, and that delights me more than anything right now.

I'm trying to think of some of the most interesting things that have happened since the last time I updated this. I know it's been a long time, but yeah...most of it has been academic stuff. Thanksgiving break was really nice. Very restful. Oh yeah! I forgot to mention that the Tuesday night before the research paper was due, I ended up staying all night. That wasn't all that fun, considering I was really tired during classes Wednesday morning. For some reason, the sleeplessness made everything really funny, and I didn't feel like I was really there. It was weird...but at least I was able to catch up on sleep over the break.

Oh! And the Madrigal Dinners went really well. It was lots of fun, and made the horrible, annoying, long practices worth it.

And I was in my first general student recital this past Thursday. It was really fun, once the nerves wore off. It was nice getting to reap the rewards of all the hours of practice I've put in this semester. It made me remember why I love to sing.

It's about 1:30 now. I should probably consider going to bed. I'm rather sleepy and could use a dose of sleep-in-ness. Choir concert tomorrow. Then more work on the essay, and hopefully some relaxing, because taking it easy is fun.

I've been pretty happy recently. It's been nice. :)

I bought some Christmas lights at Wal*Mart today. They are above my bulletin board and computer. They make me really happy. :)

Wow, this was just a bunch of randomness, but that's what life has been like recently. Just random. But in a good way, I think.

Yeah, I should go to bed. First, I am going to take a shower. Then bed. Yeah, that sounds right. :)

<3 Luke

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All of my life I've been hiding, wishing there was someone just like you... [Monday, November 22, 2004 // 1:57pm ]
[ mood | tired ]

I am really drained right now. I just returned from my voice lesson. I am pooped! It went well for the most part, but at the end, my voice just gave out. I couldn't even finish the Fauré piece. :( Oh well, I just need a vocal break. (Ha! Like I'll get that...I have about 2 hours of singing to do in choir/Madrigals in about an hour and a half.)

Just an update...Wednesday has been lightened a little bit, academic-wise. The research paper and poetry paper revision are still due Wednesday, but my FLA essay and Music Theory test have been pushed back 'til after Thanksgiving break. So that's a little better. But I still have a ton of work to do for tomorrow and Wednesday.

Speaking of which, I should go to the library and work on it. But I really don't feel like it. Yet, I really need to motivate myself. That way, I can get some other work done before I have to concentrate on my papers and poster tonight. Sigh. There's just too much to do with such little time.

So yeah, I think I'm going to go to the library now before choir/Madrigal singers. After all that is over, I'm going to go to the Studio Flute Recital. I don't really need any more concert credits, but I'm going to go support Leslie. :D

Alright, I've procrastinated enough. I came back to the room just to get the stuff I needed to work on my homework in the library, but as you see, I ended up updating this. How pathetic. :p

<3 Luke

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Come away with me and I will write you a song... [Thursday, November 18, 2004 // 8:56am ]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Early morning this morning. I went to register for classes. Everyone was telling me to go REALLY early, because supposedly the classes fill up fast or whatever. Well, 8:30-10:00 was my allotted time for Freshman with my last initial. I only arrived about 5 minutes, because I had a battle with my snooze alarm this morning. When I got there, though, there were only about 20 people there. So it only took me about 5 minutes to get in there and get my schedule all entered in and what not. I ended up getting all the classes I wanted! I don't have any Tuesday/Thursday classes. Which will be nice, except that my Mon/Wed/Fri are going to be busy. But I think being able to sleep in on Tuesday/Thursday will make up for that. :D I also think that I might do the Opera Workshop thing they have. This semester, it was Musical Theatre centered. But next semester, it will be OPERA! I'm so excited. I hope I get to do it. :D

Okay, I feel obliged to tell you about my terrible day yesterday. Well, it wasn't ALL terrible, but it was mostly. Okay, I knew that for next Wednesday (before Thanksgiving...we get Thursday and Friday off) I have my 8-10 page research paper due for my Education class. I also knew that I had to revise my (poor) poetry essay for Wednesday. That's supposed to be 5-7 pages. And it is, but it's bad at the time. So I knew that those two assignments were more than enough to keep me busy for the rest of this week/weekend. Well, yesterday I went to my FLA class. Our professor told us, "I don't have all of your essays read/remarked. When you get your essay back, the revisions are due a week (to the day) after you receive yours. If you get yours back today, that means they are due Wednesday. If you get yours back tomorrow, Thursday, you are lucky. Because next Thursday falls on the Holiday, yours will not be due until the Monday after Thanksgiving break." Guess who got their essay back YESTERDAY?! ME. That really set me off--in addition to my other two huge writing assignments, I now have this other essay to revise. Which, by the way, is also in terrible shape. (I thought it was a good essay.) But the thing that makes me the most mad about it is that it's NOT FAIR. Her original intent was to all have us have our essays for the same amount of time to revise. It would have made perfect sense if next week was a normal week, and the other students could turn theirs in on Thursday. That would have made sure that the Wednesday people would have their essays for exactly a week, and the same with the Thursday people. But because she's giving the Thursday people until the Monday AFTER Thanksgiving, she made the problem worse! While I have 7 days to revise mine, the others have 10 days! This seems like something that I should have to deal with in high school. Not college. Once again, my expectations of what college would be like have been shattered. So yeah, now I have three major writing things to work on. (All of them, by the way, count VERY HIGHLY in my overall grade for the course.) After leaving FLA, I went straight to Music Theory class. You know what I found out there? TEST WEDNESDAY. I seriously think my professors have joined forces to see how close they can get me to the breaking point. WELL, GOOD JOB, PROFESSORS. YOU'VE DONE A GREAT JOB. YOU'VE BROUGHT ME PAST THE BREAKING POINT. After leaving music theory, I threw my essay on the ground and kicked it all the way down the hallway. I then realized that I could hardly breathe. I seriously think I was on the verge/having a mild panic attack or something. I COULDN'T BREATHE. I ran to my dorm room, slammed the door, and tried to gain composure before I had to go to observe. Not a good day. At the end of the day, I hung out a little with Anne Tyler, which was good, because I hadn't talked to her in a long time. We reminisced about high school and such. It was fun.

Well, I guess I better go to my Education class. And proceed to have another hectic, busy day.

Here's to hoping today will be a better day.

<3 Luke

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At the end of the storm is a golden sky and the sweet, silver song of a lark... [Sunday, November 14, 2004 // 11:00pm ]
[ mood | stressed ]

This will be short. Because I really need to go to bed.

It's been a nice weekend. Short re-cap:

Friday--Got to go to the Lexington Philharmonic Orchestra for free! (The tickets are usually $22-40, but Transy's Student Activities Board gave us tickets!) It was absolutely stunning. Just beautiful! Afterward, I went to Barnes and Noble for a few minutes with Sarah and Ann Marie. Then, we went to Meijer, and bought cupcakes for Samantha, because it was her birthday! :D (Samantha is Ann Marie's really awesome roommate.) We then took the cupcakes to her and had a mini-surprise Birthday party. It was so much fun! :)

Saturday--Went to a conference thing about educating Muslim children. Following the conference was a catered meal by a Middle Eastern restaurant in town. It was pretty good food...quite different then what I'm used to. I liked some of it, and didn't like other stuff. I think it was a required taste. But it was a pleasant experience. :) After that, I did laundry and cleaned up my room. That took up all afternoon pretty much. I then proceeded to do homework and go to dinner. Then, I practiced in the music building with Ann Marie. A lady scared the heck out of us because we thought we were alone in the building (it was dark outside). We were just talking about how dark it was and the fact that we were alone in the building when all of the sudden, this lady was at the door. Ann Marie screamed loudly. The lady proceeded to say "Lay off the caffeine!" We kind of laughed it off until we got outside. Then we realized how rude that lady was. What does she expect?! Us to just be like, "Oh, it's just a person in a building in the pitch dark of the night on a weekend." Um, why are there people roaming around college buildings at night?! I think she was there for the play in the building across from the music building, and was just looking for a bathroom. That's what I'm going to tell myself. Anyway, after being weirded out, I went to my dorm room and did music theory homework while watching The Lion King. My roommate was on his fraternity's hall, and I had the room to myself. It was a nice evening.

Sunday (today)--I got to sleep in. Which is ALWAYS nice. When I woke up, I did a bit more homework, then my family came and took me away. We went out to eat, and they took me to Wal*Mart so I could get a few things. It was REALLY nice, and now I miss them ten times more. :( After I got back to school, I finished my music theory and went to dinner. Then I worked on research for my huge paper. Now I'm sitting here, and wondering why I'm telling you every detail of my weekend. Because I really need to go to bed. :/

Well, I think I'm going to do a little bit more research. (Just a couple minutes worth.) Then, I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. :) Night!

<3 Luke

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Just a drop of water in an endless sea... [Wednesday, November 10, 2004 // 1:09pm ]
[ mood | bouncy ]

So I realize it's been a while since I last updated. But really, not much has been going on of any interest. Eh, who knows.

I have so much work I need to do this week/next week. Quite painful, actually. I have an 8-10 page research paper due two weeks from yesterday for my Education class. I went to the UK Library/Public Library this past weekend and found some books to use. I still have to read through them though. Plus the actual paper-writing. Eek. I'm really not looking forward to these next couple of weeks. Luckily, though, Thanksgiving is sneaking up. That should be a nice time to relax. :)

Lately, things have been falling into place. I actually feel like I finally belong here at Transy. When school first started, it was such a big change, and I felt like I might have made a mistake coming here. But now that I've been doing decently in my classes and have made really good friends, I feel a peace about being here. I know I'm here for a reason, and God would not have paved my way here if I shouldn't be here.

I think I will be relieved when this semester is over. I enjoy most of my classes, but it's just so stressful. But I understand that all semesters are probably going to be like this. I'm looking forward to Christmas break, though. I really think it will be a nice time to rest and re-focus. It's only about a month and a half away! :D

Well, I guess I should go get some work done before choir. It always feels good to feel productive. Let's see if I can accomplish that emotion...

<3 Luke

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BOO! aaah. [Sunday, October 31, 2004 // 11:22pm ]
[ mood | satisfied ]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! :D

Hope everyone is having a nice one. :)

I have much to talk about, but little time. For I have a little bit more homework to finish before I retire to my bed.

In short:

This weekend, I went home. I had originally planned to go home so I could go to the last home football game to watch the band. Well, there was a death in our church family, and she was a really close family friend. So I went to the visitation/funeral this weekend, also. It was very sad, and I'm still in shock about it all. It's comforting to know, though, that she is no longer in pain. Other than the death, it was a pretty good weekend. It's always nice to be home. I belong there. :)

Like I said, I have homework to attend to.

Oh, and also! Pray for my guinea pig. :( While I was home, she had scratched a part of her skin to where it bled. :( My mom said she would watch her carefully. I think she'll be alright, but I'm a little scared. She's had a little bump for a while, but we're pretty sure it's a little fat deposit thing. (We had a lady look at it who deals with guinea pigs a lot.) Well, it was that little bump that she had scratched. But eeek, it was scary to go feed her and notice that some of her fur was matted with blood. I think she's okay now. Sigh.

But anyway, yes. The homework. Weeeee.

Maybe next year I'll be able to be the Phantom of the Opera for Halloween. :( I wanted to this year so badly, but I wasn't going to get my tux [for choir] in time. Nor did I have time to go find a phantom mask. Next year. Yes, next year. :D I did, however, throw on a silver cape and a black see-through cape while I handed out candy last night. Fun. :)

Later! :D

<3 Luke

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